The "When I'm Gone" Workbook: One of the Greatest Gifts You Can Leave Your Loved Ones
Estate planning is about much more than deciding who inherits your assets. It's about making life easier for the people you love during one of the most difficult times they'll ever experience.
Most people think estate planning ends with signing a trust or will. But one of the most meaningful gifts you can leave your family isn't a legal document at all—it's a simple guide to the life you've built.
That's why we love the idea of a "When I'm Gone" Workbook.
What Is a "When I'm Gone" Workbook?
Think of it as an instruction manual for your life. While your estate planning documents explain who has legal authority to act and who receives your assets, your "When I'm Gone" Workbook explains how your everyday life works. After someone passes away—or even if they become temporarily incapacitated—family members are often left asking questions like:
Which bills are paid automatically?
Who services the air conditioner?
When should the HVAC filters be changed?
Who takes care of the landscaping?
Where are the spare keys?
How do I access important online accounts?
What subscriptions should be canceled?
Which veterinarian does the dog see?
Where are the important documents kept?
These aren't legal questions—they're life questions
A Simple Idea with a Big Impact
We first learned about this concept through a family who shared the story of a relative who had thoughtfully prepared a binder titled "When I'm Gone." Inside, he documented many of the everyday responsibilities he quietly handled for the household—things no one else had really thought about because he always took care of them.
His notes included reminders like
Replace HVAC filters every June and October
Schedule septic tank maintenance
Service the water softener
Renew annual memberships
Maintain the vehicles
Call specific contractors if repairs were needed
He also included information about:
Online accounts
Memberships and subscriptions
Favorite service providers
Hobbies and collections
Important contacts
Instructions for canceling accounts
Instead of leaving his family to piece everything together during a difficult time, he left them a roadmap.
Your Estate Plan Doesn't Replace This
A comprehensive California estate plan is essential. Your trust, will, powers of attorney, and advance health care directive provide the legal framework for protecting you and your loved ones.
They answer important questions such as:
Who manages your affairs if you become incapacitated?
Who inherits your assets?
Who serves as trustee or executor?
How are your wishes carried out?
But they typically don't answer questions like:
Which streaming services are still active?
Where are the appliance manuals?
How do I access the password manager?
Who maintains the pool?.
Which pharmacy do you use?.
Where is the safe deposit box key?.
Those practical details can save your family countless hours of stress and frustration.
What Should You Include?
Every family's workbook will look a little different, but consider including sections like these:
Household Information
Home maintenance schedules
Utility providers
Alarm system instructions
Appliance information
Trash and recycling schedules
Preferred contractors
Financial Information
Banks and financial institutions
Insurance companies
Credit cards
Automatic bill payments
Tax preparer
Financial advisor
Security Tip: Rather than writing passwords directly in the workbook, consider noting where they are securely stored, such as in a password manager or secure digital vault.
Digital Life
Email accounts.
Social media accounts.
Online shopping accounts.
Streaming subscriptions.
Cloud storage.
Digital photo storage.
Health & Personal Information
Physicians
Pharmacy.
Veterinarian.
Pet care routines.
Medications.
Favorite charities.
Important Documents
Include where your loved ones can locate:
Estate planning documents.
Deeds.
Vehicle titles.
Insurance policies.
Birth and marriage certificates.
Military records.
Safe deposit box information.
Personal Wishes
You may also want to include non-legal information such as:
Funeral and memorial preferences.
Music selections.
Obituary information.
Family traditions.
Letters or messages for loved ones.
Keep It Current
Like your estate plan, your workbook should be reviewed periodically. Consider updating it whenever you:
Move.
Open or close financial accounts.
Change service providers.
Buy or sell property.
Adopt a pet.
Change where important documents are stored.
Make significant life changes.
Even spending 30 minutes reviewing it once a year can make an enormous difference for your family.
One of the Most Thoughtful Gifts You Can Leave
During the days and weeks following the death or incapacity of a loved one, families are often overwhelmed with decisions and responsibilities.
A "When I'm Gone" Workbook won't eliminate the grief, but it can remove many of the unnecessary obstacles that families face. Instead of spending hours searching for information or wondering how things work, your loved ones can focus on what matters most—supporting one another.
Sometimes, the greatest gift isn't what you leave behind. It's making life just a little easier for those you love.
How DeCosimo Law Can Help
At DeCosimo Law, we believe estate planning is about more than preparing legal documents—it's about helping families navigate life's transitions with confidence.
That's why our FamilyCare Program goes beyond simply creating a trust or will. As part of the program, our members receive a "When I'm Gone" Workbook designed to organize the practical details of everyday life that legal documents simply aren't intended to address.
The workbook walks you through documenting important information such as household maintenance schedules, trusted service providers, financial institutions, digital assets, subscriptions, pet care instructions, the location of important documents, and many other details that can be invaluable to your loved ones after your death or during a period of incapacity.
Combined with regular estate plan reviews, ongoing support, and proactive planning, it's just one of the many ways our FamilyCare Program helps ensure your family has not only the legal authority they need, but also the practical information they'll be grateful to have when they need it most.
If you have questions about creating or updating your California estate plan, we'd be honored to help you build a plan that protects your loved ones both legally and practically.
This article is provided for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice. Every family's circumstances are unique. If you have questions about estate planning in California, consult with a qualified California estate planning attorney